The Cylon Civil War
From Wiki Frakr
The Cylon Civil war was basically a big hissy fit between those toasters which want to love and those that want to hate. Factions between the two seemed to start on Nu Craprica when the Cavil models wanted to blow up humanity while the Sixes (mainly Caprica-Six) wanted to "blow" humanity. The Threes, Sixes, Eights, and Two models also had the whole "We love God" complex going on, while the Ones, Fours, and Fives did not want to go to church anymore and after being rejected one too many times at the Cylon prom, thought that love was a stupid emotion.
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Xena's Badassery
The Number Three models wanted to know who the final five were since she was short on cash and tired of turning tricks. This upset the Number One models so took the Number Three models chakram away and without that, all the Threes went into a deep slumber. This kinda upset the 6, 8, and 2 models.
It's About to Get Severe Up In Here
The Cylon Civil War really took off when there was a big conflict about Raider's rights not to fight colonials for apparently no reason at all. It started when a Raider at the battle of the ionian nebula did some creepy scan thing on Anders who couldn't blow it up, because his gun safeties were on. Anders eye glowed red for a moment, and the Raiders were like "frak this!" and buggered off to their Cylon Starfish to jump away.. pussies - really are too soft on the inside.
Not knowing what to make of it, the Religious Cylons lead by Natalie and the Badass Cylons lead by Cavil vote on what to do with em. The votes were tied over the issue of making the Raiders watch Britney Spears music videos and TV appearances in an effort to dumb them down.
A stalemate went on till Boomer voted against the other 8s like the treacherous bitch she is, though Cavil's use of The Swirl on her may have confused and amazed her. So Natalie has her group make the Centurions sentient by removing a fish lure from their heads and all the Centurions go ape-shit crazy and kill Cavil and some mates of his while they're eating.
It Gets More Severe
Cavil is obviously pissed since he has to have another dip in the goo bath and make out with Boomer and show her The Twist. He thinks of a pretty sneaky plan to use cookies as a piece offering to the now rebel 6, 8, and 2 models. Since these were fat-free and non-caloric cookies, the rebel cylons took the bait. When the Rebels wonder where the cookies are, Cavil tries to blow em up while there's no downloady ship nearby like the vindictive prick he is. FOrgetting that she needs milk, Natalie (a 6) jumps away and her baseship is the only one to survive and also has the only remaining 6, 8, and 2 models.
Finally realizing that she was tricked (she is a blonde), Natalie makes peace with the Colonials by offering up her cookies. The Colonials are not too sure, but the tastiness of the cookies were too much, like for Rummy.
Very Severe Now
The Colonials and Rebels plan to blow up the BIG downloady ship. Natalie wants to be all bad ass and show Cavil her cookies rocked so hard she got the enemy to trust her, but she gets killed by Athena. Still, after some trippy scenes with Roslin on the baseship (she raided the brownie drawer there), the Downloady ship gets nuked, no Cylon can resurrect now, Boomer runs off somewhere to find gingersnaps, and D'anna now leads the rebels.
Severe level at Yellow Now
Now the Rebels and Colonials go to Earth and all along the way make other baked goods along the way. During this time, the Final Five are revealed and Rummy has a kid... kinda. Though once they discover Earth is a nuked waste land from people eating too much cookies, they decide to take their anger out on the remaining Cylons. It is unknown if the kidnapping of Hera or the fact that the other Cylon's bake sale was more successful also contributed to this.
The Severeness to End All Severeness
The Rusty Bucket is chosen to go off with a butt load of Centurions and Rebels as they attack the Colony, the last base of operations for the Cylons. The plan is to steal their recipes and corner the baked goods market. They figured they should also rescue Hera since her mixed heritage will allow her to tell which foods would be good for Human and Cylon alike.
Rusty Bucket jumps to the Colony and proceeds to penetrate the colony. It also spurts out marine forces and Centurions into the Colony. They proceed to take the Cylons on the Colony to task and win the day. Now with the cookies and Hera safe in hand, the Rebel and Colonial forces can go on baking for all eternity.
