Earth

From Wiki Frakr

Earth is the planet that everyone in all of the various Battlestar Galactica shows is trying to get to. Boy, are they going to be disappointed; this place is a real shit-hole. Once a biosphere teeming with all sorts of life, it's lately become over-run by Humans and their various technologies and structures. The majority of other life failed to survive direct contact with the humans, sad to say. But they were delicious. *BURP*

Earth could be a paradise, if people could only get over themselves and their various delusions, and maybe quit killing each other over them, but instead it's war-torn, becoming despoiled, and rapidly turning into an authoritarian theme park. Despite this it is - on the whole - mostly harmless.

Things aren't really that bad though; we have cool things like computers, beer, b00bz, music, the internet, sliced bread, and cheese, and Quiznos — to name a few. However, the cool is overshadowed by the crappy stuff, like Africa, Iran, /b/, anime, MySpace, World of Warcraft and that guy who directed Alone in the Dark.

So far, no über-powerful aliens have arrived to kick our asses, and no BIG ROCK has wiped out our species, so we must be doing pretty well, right?

Wrong

In the "re-imagined" series, the Fleet reaches earth mid-Season 4. They appear to land burnt-out, radioactive ruins, or perhaps Brooklyn^[1], where all the major characters stand around with shocked, sad, despairing, disbelieving looks on their faces. Because on sci-fi shows all alien planets are more or less the same all over^[2], it can be safely assumed that the rest of Earth is a radioactive, burnt-out cinder full of death and decay where only cockroaches and and twisted mutant talking cats can survive.

All things considered, a better Earth arrival than the original series ... *shudders*

Or Is It?

Obviously bummed from the finding of a frakked up Earth, the fleet does not know what to do next. Well, Dualla knows as she offs herself but at least she has a plan!

Eventually, the doodles of Hera seem coherent enough to form another plan showing the show is on its last legs using her sketches for a map. Anyrate, Starbuck was able to use the dots and connected them by playing "All in the bong water" on Galactica's FTL drive and oh wow, lookie there we have another Earth! And not just any Earth, but one where humanity has just evolved. More leaps of faith, the Colonials and rebel Cylons are genetically compatible with these frakkers. What next? Everyone gets their own Slurpee machine? Such poor writing, and a travesty of an end for such a good show.

Notes