Cylons (RDM)

From Wiki Frakr

Cylons are created by man. Go figure.

They used to be "walking chrome toasters", but then they created themselves in Man's image and had this bright idea of toasting their makers (Miniseries). It went better than planned... (Downloaded) since it was actually the only plan they had, despite certain claims made by certain people.

However, after frakking over the human race, they then decide to take the survivors and, well, hold frak parties in party houses called "Farms". Their purpose is "divine", as they want to repopulate the universe with hybrid children, with "procreation" being a commandment from their God, whom they apparently discovered during their 40 years in seclusion.

Let's start makin' babies

Of course, they found that making children was hard. While we're sure they had fun doing it, they couldn't find any logical reason for it.

Well, if the Cylons couldn't make children amongst themselves, they were stricken with the bright idea to add humans. So they tried holding frak parties on the bombed out Colonies: these didn't work either.

Being the religious, upstanding moral civilization they viewed themselves to be, they thought that maybe love was Baby Potion No. 13. (They apparently didn't consider the fact that Cylon chick's spines actually glow, and might have interfered with the whole fertilization thing.)

So, somehow, they found out that some dimwit "everyman" named "Helo" stranded himself (intentionally!) on Caprica (Miniseries), which soon became occupied by the Cylons (33). After being caught in the pouring rain by a chick in a white trench coat who French Kisses guys as part of her "Are you alive" shtick and a cool Centurion, he was rescued by a Number Eight, who he thought was "Boomer". They go off, make toast -- during which Helo transmits a Cylon STD that reprograms her silicon pathways with "love" -- and they find a way off the planet, with the help of Starstruck.