Billy Keikeya

From Wiki Frakr

Billy Keikeya is a misguided sap who really didn't know anything about women... But he knew more than Fraktardo and he didn't give his girl Chekhov's gun. He is best known for his unimaginable tallness (almost taller than the robo-fraker nerd). He can be easily spotted, staring at half-naked black women in the bathroom of Galactica.

Had the actor remained with the show (and the character lived), Billy would mostly like be a member of the Fantastic Four

Grim Adventures of Billy

Billy had a tough childhood and was forced into a political career from an early age after a deal with the Devil went awry. Following the death of his pet turtle Billy was distaught and vowed to sell his soul in exchange for unnatural tallness (hey, I thought he'd have wanted the turtle to live too but hey people are comforted by the strangest thing). Turns out the devil didn't want Billy's soul and so souled it (not a typo) via EBay to the highest bidder.

That bidder in a strange twist just happened to be then Head of the Department of Education Laura Roslin or as she is known online: HotTeacher69.

Billy's career was uneventful until the Cylons returned to kill us all. In the absence of all authority the office of President fell to Roslin and Billy became Presidential Aide Billy Keikeya which contrary to popular belief is not the name of a DC Comic Book Hero (though it should be).

Billy was known to be a bumbling idiot at times especially when in the presence of the fairer sex. He fell for Anastasia Dualla and after a brief relationship and frequent sex in the sick bay, under the ever-watchful eye of Doc Cottle, Billy proposed to Dee only to be DENIED. Later that night Billy was shot down in a more literal sense and died not from a broken heart but from a gun shot wound. Ah, such is life.

Billy Remembered

"Billy was the love of my life, as evidenced by the fact that I frakked Apollo just minutes after his death." - Dee

"Billy was a good man but behind every good man is a better woman who I am willing to frak and marry." - Apollo

"Billy was like a son to me, the kind that does all my errands and can be replaced instantly by a would be Cylon." - Laura Roslin

"I will always remember Billy for his love of HobNob biscuits and Dirigibles." - Tom Zarek

"Like President Adar, a moron." - William Adama